THAT Day is Almost Here...Oh Joy!

That day is quickly approaching me. Yes, that day that all big girls hate<really we do, I know, I know everyone thinks it is our favorite day of the year, but it is NOT, surprised?> That day is Thanksgiving. I hate that day! I know that day is about giving thanks and being with family but it is a steep up hill struggle for a big girl. I have actually been at Thanksgiving dinners where I know fuckers are watching me to see how much the big girl eats or how many times I will go back for seconds, thirds and fourths. I NEVER eat a bunch, or I try not too because I KNOW people are watching me.

Why the hell do we have a holiday centered around FOOD? It really is all about the food, and a whole hellava lot of it!

A normal meal, for me, and what I cook, consists of a protein, a veggie and a starch. NOT Thanksgiving dinner, oh hells no!

There is usually 2 main proteins:
-a big ass turkey
-a big ass ham<why a ham you say, ham is for Easter, well not everyone likes turkey so what the hell, cook up a ham too>

Veggies, well let's count them:
-the green bean casserole
-the corn
-the salads<yes I said salads with an S> usually there is 2
-the stuffed celery<of course stuffed with cheese, what else would you fucking stuff celery with you fool!>

Starches, gotta have them:
-the sweet potatoes
-the mashed potatoes
-the stuffing
-dinner rolls
<all with TONS of butter>

Now let's take a look at the section I like to call..............
Others:
-gravy, and it goes on the turkey, the mashed potatoes, the stuffing and you sop up what is left of the gravy on your plate with a dinner roll or two or three.
-a cheese platter, WTF for you say, to fucking munch on before and after the meal
-deviled eggs<causes all kinds of nasty gas in males but they insist on having them>
-some sort of cranberry shit, either in the form of jelly that slides out of a can or a cranberry salad or a mold of some sort

And for the finale.....yes desserts!
-a pumpkin pie WITH whipped cream
-a pecan pie
-cherry stuff<yes that is the name of it, my family has been making it for years and THAT is what the hell we call it>

So, you tell me why the hell we need all of that food on this one day of the year, well wait, there still is Christmas dinner and then Easter dinner. Why the fuck is it all about food?