So as you all are aware of ice cream is a weakness to me <ya think? I think I am actually an fucking addict!> But another thing I have a weakness for is chocolate chip cookie dough. Oh man that shit is gooooood!
Well Sunday night my great nephew brought by a tub that my wonderful husband had bought from his son. WTF? OMFG! Really? Why the fuck would you do that when he knows I am on a diet and so is he for that matter. <oh BTW, he was asked to be Santa at work because he has a belly that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly! HA! I LMFAO when he told he that!> Anyway here it is a big ass tub of chocolate CHUNK cookie dough.
So he asks me, will you bake some of those up? Okay I will do that but only one cookie sheet full and I am making them super small. I made some and I ate a few. A few will not kill me right?
The next morning I realize I am out of my diet shake mix and it will not be here till Wednesday. Just knowing that made me think I was fucking starving and there was nothing in the house that I would not eat but all I have in the house is healthy things. So I snacked on some carrots and a slice of ham.
I opened the freeze and saw, yup the Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I actually took it out of the freezer and opened it and looked at it, yup still there. <fucker> Then I went to close the freezer door and saw that damn cookie dough. Hello lover!!! I pulled it out and sat it on the counter. I opened it up and realized it was froze solid. Sweet, no way to munch on that...WRONG! I dug out the melon baller and went to town on that shit. What the fuck am I doing to myself? I worked so hard and have been so good and lost 9 pounds and here I am scraping the shit out of a frozen tub of cookie dough with a melon baller. I have reached an all time low in my life. You fat fuck!
Lord how I hope that shake mix comes soon as I may eat that entire tub of cookie dough and the stupid fucking Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream. THAT is why during a diet I should not have that shit in the house. If it is not here I will not eat it and I sure in the hell am not going to get my lazy ass up to go to the store to buy something like that. Maybe I should send it to the office with Santa and he can have his "bitches" <as he calls them> eat on it there. Hell they have a full kitchen and can bake those fuckers up then they would be out of my mind for good.
Pray that my shake mix comes soon! Fucking cookie dough anyway!
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