Never Say Never

Okay I have some things to confess. I am not a saint and I am not a liar and I told you all I would be open and honest with you. So here it goes..............

I BOUGHT A PAIR OF SKINNY JEANS. Yes, I was the one bitching about them. I know, I know, I KNOW OKAY! So here is the story, I was trying to get out of my "slob style" and my soul sister is teaching me to get out of the box and try new fashion trends. So, me being the person I am, researched them online<don't fucking laugh>I really did go out and look at the different style, sizes, brands and colors. I decided I was going to take a leap of<not faith> of fashion and bite the bullet and go shopping for some skinny jeans.

It all started when I went and bought the size medium shirt and the jeans that were not in the big girl section. I wanted a cute pair of boots. Boots that you tuck your jeans down in with buckles on them. Kewl boots, sexy boots. I found a pair and they are CUTE! So I get ready to go out and I put my new outfit on. I tuck the new jeans into the boots. Um yeah....I don't think I did this right because I look like I am wearing lion tamer pants. This did not look right at all. So I send my soul sister a text. She asked, are those new jeans flare or boot cut. Yup, yup they were. She says, oh yeah those jeans will not work tucked in boots. Well fuck! My entire outfit was ruined! She said you have to get skinny jeans to make it look right with boots. Well fuuuuck that! I DON'T wear skinny jeans. REMEMBER I blogged about skinny jeans. I was pissed, pissed I tell you.

So that is when I started thinking about the skinny jeans. And then one evening last week I decided I am just going to do it. I am going to squeeze my fat ass into a pair of those if it KILLS me! I headed out to my favorite store JCP. Took the hubby too. He HATES shopping with me these days because I get my mind on something and will not stop until I find it or get so pissed off at the site of myself in the "fitting" room mirror that I give up. I stared looking in the Levis section. Those are the ones I saw online and it looked like they had my size. I dug through them and found a couple of pairs that I wanted to try on. I was kinda digging the colored jeans. You know, black or gray jeans.<NO not WHITE! Are fucking crazy! You really think I want to look like a fucking marshmallow squeezed into a pair of white skinny jeans, well fuck that! WHITE is NOT slimming you dumb ass!> Anyway, I headed to the "fitting" room and I was so pissed, none of the Levi skinny jeans fit me. Is this how it is going to be? I was UPSET! I barreled out of the "fitting" room because my ass was NOT "fitting" into these stupid fucking jeans. Who the hell came up with theses jeans. Oh yes it was the skinny bitches.<you know I can break a skinny bitch in half like a crayon> No, no, I was NOT giving up on this mission. I will NOT let my body image get the best of me this time. So I pulled up my big ass big girl panties<remind me later, I need to blog about panties> and I went back out into the store determined to find a fucking pair of skinny jeans if it killed me! I shopped around and found a different brand. Hey, I have wore this brand of clothing before, I have big girl stuff in this brand. I spark of hope! I looked though everything and finally found a black pair of skinny jeans in my size. Well I think they are skinny jeans, I mean they look like it but the label says denim leggings. What? Did this brand read my blog and stopped calling then skinny jeans? I personally like the name ankle chokers better, anyway I headed to the "fitting" room with the one pair of, demin leggings....LOVE that name! Got in the stall<yes, I call it a stall because I feel like a cow in there, cows are in stalls> and I tried to put them on. There is no damn zipper. WTF? There was a button but no zipper. Oh, see that is why they are called leggings and not jeans, no zipper. Anyway, I put them on and low and behold they FIT!!! They felt good. I thought I looked good in the mirror. I came out of my stall<MOOOOO> and asked my hubby what he thought. He said they looked okay. I asked it I looked stupid. He said no<he will say ANYTHING to get him out of the store>. I went back in and smiled. I am going to do it. I am going to buy these fuckers! I AM GOING TO DO IT! And I did!

Let me just tell you how awesome they looked on me with my boots. I was on a fashion high! I felt like my old self again, back when I had a style that was not slob. Someone even told me I should wear nothing BUT skinny jeans! So many people committed on how good I looked and that they could tell that I had lost weight! Could a fucking pair of jeans really do that much for my body image....I THINK SO!

So the moral of the story bitches is to never say never!

I have discovered something about myself......

I haven't got a damn ounce of will power!

None, not a itty bity tiny bit. So my husband's family decides to have their Christmas last weekend. Yes in January. I was against it but noooooo we had to go. Anyway what do you think we got there? Yes you guessed it, fucking holiday treats to fucking take home! I wanted to just throw them in the trash not because I am bitch but because we did NOT need that crap in the house, especially after the Christmas stocking chocolate debacle.
We got a tub'o peanut brittle and a tub'o chex mix. And as soon as we got home I started in munching. Munch munch munch.
The next day, drinking my diet shake, I totally decided I needed a snack. So I got out the chex mix, munch munch munch. Then that evening I munched, munched munched on the brittle. The next day second verse same as the first...munch munch munch.
So last night I had fucking had it, I took all of it the threw it in the trash. What the hell happened to my will power. I used to have it, what happened to it. Did I wrap it up all pretty and give it to someone for Christmas? I have been know to wrap up shit around the house as give them as gifts but that was back when I was broke, spent all my money on beers.
I mean I was able to just say no to foods and treats that were not good for me even when I was not dieting. Not anymore I guess.
So from now on, or until I freaking find my damn will power<maybe I packed it away, I have been know to put shit away and forget where I have put them>there will be NO TREATS, SWEETS, or ANYTHING bad for you too eat in my house!<except beer, there is always beer at my house>

Fucking will power anyway!

Pondering Something.......

Why the hell is it that when you gain weight EVERYONE and their fucking dog notices.
But when you lose weight no one fucking notices!

All girls would rather hear that they look like they have lost weight rather than that they have gained weight.

Fucking people anyways.