Lost and Found!

Somewhere along the way of my becoming Large and not so In Charge I lost myself. I really did. I did not know who I was or how to be myself. It is sad how this happens but I don't think I am the only one this has ever happened to.

I reconnected with a girlfriend that I had not seen in of maybe 6 or 7 years. I wanted to see her and hang out with her. She is beautiful and talented and an artist and a musician and a wonderful person but she had lost herself too.

One day she commented on how awesome she thought I was because of some work I did on my boat engine. Made me fee like I was a fucking rocket scientists! I later emailed her and told her how much that meant to me to hear that. I told her I got chubby and I don't get a lot of people saying things like that to me any more. And it was true. I got used to being a wall flower, which if any of you know me, I am not a fucking wall flower!

She responded to me in a way that totally changed my way of thinking. She said: I have been avoiding getting together with everyone because of my own insecurities around my current chubby state.  Wait. What? So all of this time the things I was feeling and going through was NORMAL and I am okay? Oh fuck could I help her feel good about herself again? I hope I can!

A couple of weeks ago a few of us girls got together for a dinner and drinks. She was invited and I prayed that she would be there. And fucking A she showed up. She walked though that door and there she was, my girl, the same silly girl I remember. I hugged her so very tight and I did not want to let go. I did not want to share her with anyone. Her and I were so close, we told each other secrets, she took pictures, beautiful pictures of me, we were CLOSE!

I could see in her eyes how nervous she was, I knew that look, I have had that look and now that look for me is gone. I found myself and I want her to find herself. We talked till way into the morning and I told her about my blog and how I loved her and how she needs to be all about her, because no matter what the hell you look like, you are STILL YOU!!! I hope she reads this and understands what a fucking awesome person she is. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE and I LOVE you!

WTF? Sorry I have not posted in a while, summer gets the best of me

So as I can see I have not posted since May. What the fuck? I am sorry, no I am not sorry. I have been having fun in the sun and loving myself!

I am now down 18 pounds bitches and it feels fucking awesome! I started up fat camp again last week and that is going great too! My first fat camp I lost a total of 5.5 inches and 3 of those were off my waist! Sooooo....I am back at it and ready to start talking shit again!