What is your Ancient Chinese Secret?

A friend announced that she had lost almost 18 pounds in the last 4 months yesterday. I am so proud of her and I know she worked hard to do it. Her and I are so much alike in that we have always struggled to lose weight. Even as a child we struggled. What got me thinking was when a girl posted to her wanting to know what was her secret.

Is there ever really a secret to loosing weight people? I mean there are all kinds of lose weight quick diets, pills that make you shit your pants if you eat any fat, creams, shit you shake on your food and nonsense, but do they really work?

I, if you have been following my blog,<you better be fucking following my blog, I mean how else am I going to get discovered and get a book deal out of this true life crazy train I live> have lived a life though diets and quick fixes. I have tried everything and it does work, for a while and then you gain it all back plus more.

I have been asked so many times, how did you do it? What diet are you on, what is your secret. Now you all know I drink my health shakes, they are not diet shakes but meal replacement shakes and loaded with all the nutrients a person needs. I have lost weight with them but that is not all I have had to do.

A lady asked me straight up, what are you doing to lose weight. I told her, you know it is the craziest thing, diet and exercise. Can you believe that? She seriously looked at me is disgust, like I had a bat in the cave<booger> or a bug in my grill<food in my teeth> and walked off. Hey bitch, that is what really works.

Eating right and exercising is the only thing that will help you lose weight, and it doesn't happen quick bitches, it takes time. It has taken me 11 months to lose 20 pounds. I have changed my way of eating, I eat smaller portions, and I fucking exercise. Stop looking for a quick fix people and put the work in and just do it! Trust me it does work and it lasts. Change your way of thinking, eating and exercising and it will happen to you!

Now get your asses off the fucking couch and do something!

Don't Make Me Get The Belt......

was always a phrase I hated to hear as a kid. That usually meant I had done something wrong and was in trouble<hell I was always in trouble as a kid. I could never keep my mouth shut, sister kept her mouth shut, not me>.

While I was out shopping the other day, at my favorite place to shop, for now, JCP, I told myself this very phrase. And guess what? I got myself 2 belts!

I have always loved to wear belts with my jeans. I wanted them to match what I was wearing and in my eyes<which at times were clouded by donuts> it was a sign of being confident in what you looked like. For so many years when I was a skinny bitch I had tons of belts and wore them everyday. Wore them with jeans. Wore them with shorts. Wore them with skirts. Always wore them. After getting all fat and happy I steered clear of belts because I hated something tight around my big fat belly and I never tucked in a shirt<hey I had to fucking hide that shit, don't judge>. With the recent purchase of my Fancy Pants I felt it was time to get back into the belt wearing.

It is so strange the little things that make a big deal to me. I mean who would have thought by buying and being able to wear a belt it would make me feel so good about myself. Well it fucking did and I am loving it!

So if you hear someone say, don't make me get the belt, say, yes, get the belt, a cute black one maybe!

*disclaimer....I will not take blame to you getting beat with a belt for telling you to say the above mentioned comment. Carry on*

So until next time, wear a belt proudly as I have been!!!