I just bought a shirt in a size MEDIUM!!!!! Oh yeah I did, fuck yeah!
And I got a pair of jeans NOT in the big girl section! Oh hells yeah!
Okay, that's all for now!
Peace out homies!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Tanned Fat Really Does Look Better!
The other day as I was home for Christmas, my sis, hubby and I were waiting for the kids to be good and asleep before we got the stuff out from Santa, we were watching Fear Factor-Family. I am NOT a fan of this show at all. My hubby must had been in charge of the remote that night.
So, we were watching Fear Factor and this one challenge was to crawl through pig fat with pig parts in it and pass a cow tongue to the other person through a small hole and then that person had to crawl back though the pig fat and drop the tongue into a bucket<you all see why I hate this show? Makes me want to fucking vomit to watch>
Anyway, while they were doing this something about it seemed to be familiar to me. What could it have been? Was I having de ja vu<sp?>? Had I seen it before? I could not remember seeing it before. So we watched it and then did the Santa gifts and then went on to bed.<I am sure at some point during this time I crammed my fat face full of candy, remember my earlier post? Fat Ass!>
So the next time I was getting ready to take a shower it hit me as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror,scary fucking sight if I do say do>, that is why I remembered that part of the show! My fucking ass and thighs look just like the pig fat they were crawling though. Oh gross! That it why I remember that, because I HAD seen it before, in the fucking mirror! FAT...WHITE...PALE....FAT! Looked like I had chewed up bubble gum all over my ass and thighs!
So, my thought is, tanned fat looks better. It really does. I would much rather see my fat all nice and brown than all white and pasty looking. My question is, do I go lay in a tanning bed so my fat looks better in the winter? I mean I really like to tan but I am not all about the effects of it. I do NOT want to have early wrinkles and I do NOT want to look like leather. But I DO want my fat to look better and it does look better tanned.
Oh jeeze the decisions a big girl has to make in her life!
So, we were watching Fear Factor and this one challenge was to crawl through pig fat with pig parts in it and pass a cow tongue to the other person through a small hole and then that person had to crawl back though the pig fat and drop the tongue into a bucket<you all see why I hate this show? Makes me want to fucking vomit to watch>
Anyway, while they were doing this something about it seemed to be familiar to me. What could it have been? Was I having de ja vu<sp?>? Had I seen it before? I could not remember seeing it before. So we watched it and then did the Santa gifts and then went on to bed.<I am sure at some point during this time I crammed my fat face full of candy, remember my earlier post? Fat Ass!>
So the next time I was getting ready to take a shower it hit me as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror,scary fucking sight if I do say do>, that is why I remembered that part of the show! My fucking ass and thighs look just like the pig fat they were crawling though. Oh gross! That it why I remember that, because I HAD seen it before, in the fucking mirror! FAT...WHITE...PALE....FAT! Looked like I had chewed up bubble gum all over my ass and thighs!
So, my thought is, tanned fat looks better. It really does. I would much rather see my fat all nice and brown than all white and pasty looking. My question is, do I go lay in a tanning bed so my fat looks better in the winter? I mean I really like to tan but I am not all about the effects of it. I do NOT want to have early wrinkles and I do NOT want to look like leather. But I DO want my fat to look better and it does look better tanned.
Oh jeeze the decisions a big girl has to make in her life!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Is Slob A Style?
Because if it is I am totally in style!< I fucking say that like it a good thing and it is NOT>
I believe I have turned into a slob when it comes to the way I dress. I am not sure what happened and when it happened but it did.
I used to have style, I KNOW I did because when I went through all of my itty bitty tiny clothes I was like, wow, this is cute and very stylish, did I really wear that? And someone just said to me, what happened to you? You used to be so crazy and wear crazy clothes with color and did not care what people thought about you, I want her back.
I will admit my color wheel is no longer round with all the beautiful colors of the rainbow, now it is more like....flat! Black seems to win in my closet now. Mixed in with some gray and pink.
Hell my hair and makeup is slob style. I keep my hair straight and parted on the side.....boring. And my makeup seems to be less and less....boring. Fuck my shoes are boring too<and that is just because I hate all the styles out right now>.
So my style of slob is all about blending in and not being noticed and all about comfort. My normal day to day outfit consists of:
baggie jeans
black baggie shirt
tennis shoes
same black earrings
little makeup
straight hair
<shit now that I typed it out I realize how fucking lame I am, what the hell is wrong with me?>
I think it all began when I stared to gain weight. I did not want to be seen at all. I wanted to be a wall flower and blend in. And then as I gained weight I wanted comfort. Nothing tight. I mean who the hell wants to see a fat girl in tight clothing. NOT ME!
I think I forgotten how to dress. My soul sister is trying to get me to think outside of my comfortable box. I am trying. Hell I wore big silver hoop earrings and khaki pants yesterday with a cute pair of brown shoes<okay so I had a meeting at the office and as soon as I got home I changed back into my slob uniform, so, get the fuck off me, you have done it too. At least I waited till evening to change into my jammie pants>
I thought I was better this summer when I was wearing brightly colored shirts<granted I bought 7 of them all the same size and style> I guess when I find something I "think" I look good in I buy one in every color.
So I am hoping with me losing weight I may find that style I used to have. That crazy I don't care what people think about me style. I want that style back but I will have to take baby steps I guess.
Maybe someone should call What Not To Wear for me. I am sure those two would have a hay day going through my closet. Or maybe I just need a stylist. Any takers?
I believe I have turned into a slob when it comes to the way I dress. I am not sure what happened and when it happened but it did.
I used to have style, I KNOW I did because when I went through all of my itty bitty tiny clothes I was like, wow, this is cute and very stylish, did I really wear that? And someone just said to me, what happened to you? You used to be so crazy and wear crazy clothes with color and did not care what people thought about you, I want her back.
I will admit my color wheel is no longer round with all the beautiful colors of the rainbow, now it is more like....flat! Black seems to win in my closet now. Mixed in with some gray and pink.
Hell my hair and makeup is slob style. I keep my hair straight and parted on the side.....boring. And my makeup seems to be less and less....boring. Fuck my shoes are boring too<and that is just because I hate all the styles out right now>.
So my style of slob is all about blending in and not being noticed and all about comfort. My normal day to day outfit consists of:
baggie jeans
black baggie shirt
tennis shoes
same black earrings
little makeup
straight hair
<shit now that I typed it out I realize how fucking lame I am, what the hell is wrong with me?>
I think it all began when I stared to gain weight. I did not want to be seen at all. I wanted to be a wall flower and blend in. And then as I gained weight I wanted comfort. Nothing tight. I mean who the hell wants to see a fat girl in tight clothing. NOT ME!
I think I forgotten how to dress. My soul sister is trying to get me to think outside of my comfortable box. I am trying. Hell I wore big silver hoop earrings and khaki pants yesterday with a cute pair of brown shoes<okay so I had a meeting at the office and as soon as I got home I changed back into my slob uniform, so, get the fuck off me, you have done it too. At least I waited till evening to change into my jammie pants>
I thought I was better this summer when I was wearing brightly colored shirts<granted I bought 7 of them all the same size and style> I guess when I find something I "think" I look good in I buy one in every color.
So I am hoping with me losing weight I may find that style I used to have. That crazy I don't care what people think about me style. I want that style back but I will have to take baby steps I guess.
Maybe someone should call What Not To Wear for me. I am sure those two would have a hay day going through my closet. Or maybe I just need a stylist. Any takers?
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
I fell off the wagon BIG TIME, and I fell right on my big fat ass!
It all started the Thursday before Christmas. My wonderful husband and I always exchange gifts with just each other before we head home to the family.
We always do stocking stuffers too. I like to put gum, chapstick, dental floss, socks and a little bit of chocolate in his stocking. Things he is always running out of and will just never remember to buy. <now remember I said a little bit of chocolate> He opened his and was delighted at the things I had got for him in there.
Me on the other had was appalled at the stuff he put in mine. He stuffed it so full of candy that it would not all fit. ALL CHOCOLATE and candies. Oh and a iTunes card, but everything else was candy, oh and some gum, the sugarfree kinda that I like, but EVERYTHING else was chocolate!
Let's see there was a big bag of the mini peanut butter cups<LOVE those little fuckers>, a bag of dark chocolate squares<I know they say dark chocolate is good for you but not in the quantity I eat dark chocolate>, a box of dark chocolate covered cherries<another one of my favs, damn they are good>, a tube of mini M&Ms<which BTW, HE ate!>, a couple of chocolate covered marshmallow Santas<hell I could eat those 24-7>, a bag of dark chocolate Kisses<again not so good for you when you eat the entire fucking bag in one sitting>, and finally a small bag of assorted Jelly Belly jelly beans, a SMALL BAG, these fuckers are FAT FREE and only a couple of calories each and he gets me a small fucking bag!
Anyway, after we open all the gifts we gave each other<we both spent too much on each other but who the hell cares, we don't have kids so we spend it on each other> I start in gorging myself with the candy. Like a fat chick at an all you can eat chocolate buffet! Oh yeah, that was me. I could not eat enough! Finally I stopped and felt like shit. What had I done to myself? Do I go make myself throw up? Hell No! That was a lot of money spent on that chocolate. So I promise myself I will be good for the rest of Christmas and so I pre-measured my shakes and told myself I was going to drink them.
The next day I woke up with a clear mind and a strong heart that I would be good UNTIL.........
My hubby's boss called and said "you have to stop by I have stuff for you". So we went by and she had a loaf of homemade spice bread and a container of cookies and candy. WTF people? She said we could snack on it on our road trip home. Oh jeeze thanks A LOT!<no really it was really nice of her to do that but I have no control>
So we started our journey home and my wonderful sis starts texting me. I made cinnamon candy. Next text, I made peanut butter balls. Next text, I made white chocolate pretzels<and she even sent a picture> Next text, hey I also made cheese logs. OMG what is she trying to do to me? I love all of those things!
Then she informed me that my mother was making two different kinds of fudge AND pumpkin bread. I AM IN DIETERS HELL!!!!
So, there I was surrounded by my family eating like a fat girl at an all you can eat candy buffet! I ate and ate then I ate some more. Oh wait, I forgot to tell you, I made rocky road candy too, I LOVE that shit and ate it till I almost burst open to reveal a chocolate wonderfall<you know like they have at Golden Coral>
So yesterday as I was packing up to leave my sister says, what all are you taking showing me like Vanna White all the goodies leftover. I told I ain't taking shit home! She looked at me like I was crazy. Well? I am fucking crazy....for goodies! She said well at least you can take a loaf of pumpkin bread. Okay I said I would do that. Pumpkin is good for you and it has nuts in it so that is good for you<hey back up off me fuckers, yes I am trying to justify eating pumpkin bread>so I took a loaf.
We finally get home and I see all the crap I got in my stocking. UGH! I HAD to have a few things because the diet was starting AGAIN tomorrow so I ate a few and enjoyed then....UNTIL.....I hopped my fat ass on the scale and about passed out!
So here I sit, drinking my diet shake and kicking myself in the fat ass for destroying all the hard work I had done. Fucking Christmas goodies anyway!
We always do stocking stuffers too. I like to put gum, chapstick, dental floss, socks and a little bit of chocolate in his stocking. Things he is always running out of and will just never remember to buy. <now remember I said a little bit of chocolate> He opened his and was delighted at the things I had got for him in there.
Me on the other had was appalled at the stuff he put in mine. He stuffed it so full of candy that it would not all fit. ALL CHOCOLATE and candies. Oh and a iTunes card, but everything else was candy, oh and some gum, the sugarfree kinda that I like, but EVERYTHING else was chocolate!
Let's see there was a big bag of the mini peanut butter cups<LOVE those little fuckers>, a bag of dark chocolate squares<I know they say dark chocolate is good for you but not in the quantity I eat dark chocolate>, a box of dark chocolate covered cherries<another one of my favs, damn they are good>, a tube of mini M&Ms<which BTW, HE ate!>, a couple of chocolate covered marshmallow Santas<hell I could eat those 24-7>, a bag of dark chocolate Kisses<again not so good for you when you eat the entire fucking bag in one sitting>, and finally a small bag of assorted Jelly Belly jelly beans, a SMALL BAG, these fuckers are FAT FREE and only a couple of calories each and he gets me a small fucking bag!
Anyway, after we open all the gifts we gave each other<we both spent too much on each other but who the hell cares, we don't have kids so we spend it on each other> I start in gorging myself with the candy. Like a fat chick at an all you can eat chocolate buffet! Oh yeah, that was me. I could not eat enough! Finally I stopped and felt like shit. What had I done to myself? Do I go make myself throw up? Hell No! That was a lot of money spent on that chocolate. So I promise myself I will be good for the rest of Christmas and so I pre-measured my shakes and told myself I was going to drink them.
The next day I woke up with a clear mind and a strong heart that I would be good UNTIL.........
My hubby's boss called and said "you have to stop by I have stuff for you". So we went by and she had a loaf of homemade spice bread and a container of cookies and candy. WTF people? She said we could snack on it on our road trip home. Oh jeeze thanks A LOT!<no really it was really nice of her to do that but I have no control>
So we started our journey home and my wonderful sis starts texting me. I made cinnamon candy. Next text, I made peanut butter balls. Next text, I made white chocolate pretzels<and she even sent a picture> Next text, hey I also made cheese logs. OMG what is she trying to do to me? I love all of those things!
Then she informed me that my mother was making two different kinds of fudge AND pumpkin bread. I AM IN DIETERS HELL!!!!
So, there I was surrounded by my family eating like a fat girl at an all you can eat candy buffet! I ate and ate then I ate some more. Oh wait, I forgot to tell you, I made rocky road candy too, I LOVE that shit and ate it till I almost burst open to reveal a chocolate wonderfall<you know like they have at Golden Coral>
So yesterday as I was packing up to leave my sister says, what all are you taking showing me like Vanna White all the goodies leftover. I told I ain't taking shit home! She looked at me like I was crazy. Well? I am fucking crazy....for goodies! She said well at least you can take a loaf of pumpkin bread. Okay I said I would do that. Pumpkin is good for you and it has nuts in it so that is good for you<hey back up off me fuckers, yes I am trying to justify eating pumpkin bread>so I took a loaf.
We finally get home and I see all the crap I got in my stocking. UGH! I HAD to have a few things because the diet was starting AGAIN tomorrow so I ate a few and enjoyed then....UNTIL.....I hopped my fat ass on the scale and about passed out!
So here I sit, drinking my diet shake and kicking myself in the fat ass for destroying all the hard work I had done. Fucking Christmas goodies anyway!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Chocolate Therapy
So, it is that time of year that I have to go to my hubby's Holiday <why the fuck we cannot call it Christmas is stupid>party.
I usually dread this every year because the hubby works with mostly women, well girls and they are young and pretty and thin<skinny bitches>.
This year I am wanting to show off my lose of 12 pounds! Fucking-A I said 12 pounds!!!! So I have a soul sister that I think is very fashion forward and I am well.....fashion stuck. She said she would help me find an outfit to wear to this party. I am feeling so good about the weight I have lost and I am on cloud 9!
She suggested that black slacks are always a good way to go for these types of things since I am not ready for a dress. I told her I would go get a new pair and then we would meet the next day for a shopping trip for a festive top and some accessories. YAY! I think she has great style!
So out my hubby and I went to my favorite big girl store when I do not want to spend a lot of money.....Gordman's. They have a great Misses Plus section for career clothes and that is where I usually shop for my work clothes<not any more bitches because I can work in my jammie pants if I want to...jealous?>
I found a nice black pair of slacks in one size smaller than I am wearing right now. Now let me remind you I am wearing clothes that I am swimming in. Seriously, remember my post about the family of five that moved out of the seat of my pants, well now it looks like a family of ten moved out or a shit my pants. These jeans are big on me. Anyway, I went into the fitting room<and that is exactly what the fuck they are, fitting rooms, will my fat ass be fitting into these pants today?> I walked in there with my head held high<I actually think I was shaking my ass when I walked too...I thought I looked goooood>
I took off my too big for me jeans and tried to shove my big fat ass into these black slacks. I was able to get them up and button them but I looked like a......well......I don't know what the hell I looked like but whatever it was it was NASTY! What the hell? I freaking lost 12 freaking pounds and I cannot fit into one size smaller.
I was so pissed I left the fucking pants in the fitting room because my ass was not fitting into these pants. I came out and told my hubby....LET'S GO NOW!
We still needed to go to another one of my favorite stores, Walgreens. So you want to know what the hell I did? Well do ya?
I bought myself a chocolate marshmallow Santa and a peanut butter Christmas tree and stuffed them into my mouth as fast as possible.
I feel deflated! So fuck it, I am having some chocolate therapy!
I usually dread this every year because the hubby works with mostly women, well girls and they are young and pretty and thin<skinny bitches>.
This year I am wanting to show off my lose of 12 pounds! Fucking-A I said 12 pounds!!!! So I have a soul sister that I think is very fashion forward and I am well.....fashion stuck. She said she would help me find an outfit to wear to this party. I am feeling so good about the weight I have lost and I am on cloud 9!
She suggested that black slacks are always a good way to go for these types of things since I am not ready for a dress. I told her I would go get a new pair and then we would meet the next day for a shopping trip for a festive top and some accessories. YAY! I think she has great style!
So out my hubby and I went to my favorite big girl store when I do not want to spend a lot of money.....Gordman's. They have a great Misses Plus section for career clothes and that is where I usually shop for my work clothes<not any more bitches because I can work in my jammie pants if I want to...jealous?>
I found a nice black pair of slacks in one size smaller than I am wearing right now. Now let me remind you I am wearing clothes that I am swimming in. Seriously, remember my post about the family of five that moved out of the seat of my pants, well now it looks like a family of ten moved out or a shit my pants. These jeans are big on me. Anyway, I went into the fitting room<and that is exactly what the fuck they are, fitting rooms, will my fat ass be fitting into these pants today?> I walked in there with my head held high<I actually think I was shaking my ass when I walked too...I thought I looked goooood>
I took off my too big for me jeans and tried to shove my big fat ass into these black slacks. I was able to get them up and button them but I looked like a......well......I don't know what the hell I looked like but whatever it was it was NASTY! What the hell? I freaking lost 12 freaking pounds and I cannot fit into one size smaller.
I was so pissed I left the fucking pants in the fitting room because my ass was not fitting into these pants. I came out and told my hubby....LET'S GO NOW!
We still needed to go to another one of my favorite stores, Walgreens. So you want to know what the hell I did? Well do ya?
I bought myself a chocolate marshmallow Santa and a peanut butter Christmas tree and stuffed them into my mouth as fast as possible.
I feel deflated! So fuck it, I am having some chocolate therapy!
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