Okay it is not actually fat camp it is an exercising boot camp<I think Fat Camp sounds better though>
So I have lost 12 pounds doing my health shakes and now nothing. I mean I have no idea why I am not losing any more. I mean I sit around all day and nothing so I decided it was time to get serious and join a exercise boot camp. I mean it is to a point that if I have to haul ass it would take me three trips....um yeah...it is time for a change.
I had some co-workers that I used to work with that did this boot camp<one of them actually warned me not to quit after the first day, WTF does that mean?> so last week I decided...hey I can try that! I just happen to check on it at the perfect time because the camp was starting this week! Sweet! Score!
So this past Saturday I had to go weigh in and get measured and meet my trainer. I was so excited to meet her. I was NOT excited to weigh in and get my measurements, oh well they can only get better from this point on...right?
Tuesday was my first day and my hubby decided to do it with me, for moral support he said. Whatever he needs to lose weight as much if not more than me so your fat ass needs to go too! He bitched and moaned about going. "oh this is going to be hokey, and this is just walking and toning, and I have to win and be in first" I told him it was not a competition and that I have heard it is really hard. He was like whatever.
So we arrive at our first location, we meet at different locations outside every week to keep it changing. The hubby is still going on about it and as soon as he meets the trainer he is like, I was an athlete and blah blah blah.
I had been hydrating all day long and I did some stretching exercises earlier that day just to be ready. When I asked my hubby if he had been hydrating he was like NO! And he hoped the trainer was not going to make us stretch because he did not need to stretch and he hated doing that. Okay big boy....whatever you say.
We started out walking, fast. I was able to keep up and I was in the middle of the pack. She stopped us and split us down into two groups, slow and fast. And yes I got thrown in the fast group...GREAT. Oh the hubby was in my group too, because remember...it is a race and he has to win.
We start walking again and go a "station", a station is just a place where we stop to do torture..I mean toning. We do some exercises called...oh hell I can't remember, all I know is WTF was I thinking doing this. We got down in a push up position and hopped our feet up and back and up and back. Then we did the same but on one foot at a time then we were to walk, run if we could, a mountain, okay fuckers, it was actually a mound. We did more of the same torture and then walked more.
<note to remember, I had been drinking tons of water, all day long>
We reach a major street and get along the side walk and use these rocks to do chair lifts with our arms and push ups...more torture. Then we had to so 2 sets of 30 jumping jacks. <oh BTW the hubby was right beside the trainer saying how he could do this and that so she made him to more along with her advanced people in our group...HA!>We stared doing the jumping jacks and I seriously thought I was going to pee my pants right there in front of Gawd and everyone driving by. Thank Gawd I saw a port-a-potty in the park that we pasted.
So she sends us back and as she does I ask her, are we going to do any more jumping because if we are I have to stop and pee. She said yes and sent me off to the bathroom. I guess while I was in there the group stopped for more torture, I missed that and we walked on to another torture station.
By this time I am about to pass out and I am drenched with sweat. Our next torture session is these squats and jump ups. Little piece of advise, G-string panties are NOT the way to go for tortureous fat camp. They were so far up my ass I believe I was tasting cotton. Good Lord, I may have to invest in some granny panties for fat camp....hate granny panties. So after this last station we were to speed walk back to the parking lot where we started.
WE WERE DONE and I HAD SURVIVED! My arms and legs were like wet noodles and I was so out of breath I thought I may kill over right there. The hubby looked even worse than I did. I thought his eyes were going to pop right out his head.
We loaded our broke down bodies into the car and headed to get some dinner. I was not hungry and could not even think about eating at this point but I knew I had to eat something. We decided to hit the local Subway because the last thing I could do was stand in the kitchen and prepare a meal. I got a salad and a water and the hubby got some sammie with bacon on it. WTF bacon? We just did a fucking workout! Whatever. And he got pop and chips. Diet pop and baked chips. So we sat and tried to talk to each other but we both were wore the fuck out. We get ready to leave and the hubby notices that on our receipt there is a coupon for a free cookie<his eyes lit up as he told me> I said NO you are not getting a cookie after what we have been though.
Later that night, the hubby decides he is hungry, again, and feels he needs to eat chips, not baked either. I give him what for but he still eats them. Good job honey.
THE DAY AFTER ARRIVES
And the hubby and I are both sore as hell. But that just means we worked hard right. I feel great and I am doing great with my eating habits! The hubby cried ALL DAY LONG. ALL DAY LONG! And ate bad for breakfast, fast food, and bad for lunch, fast food, so I fixed a healthy dinner. He has the nerve to say to me that I did not give him enough rice and how he did not have enough food. Dude you had an entire chicken salad sammie, half a packet of rice and a container of fruit, get over it!
As the evening goes by he is still crying about how sore he is and wants me to get him this and get him that, hey, get your ass up and work those sore muscles. And then he decides he wants another chicken salad sammie, um no, the leftovers are for tonight's dinner. Then he wants ice cream. I told him no but if he wants I can give him a list to get stuff for me to make him a smoothie. He said no he did not want to go to the store, but he was willing to GO to the ice cream store. So he resorts to eating the rest of the chips. I glare at him and he said, well they are all broken and are crumbs....so, that does not mean all the fat and calories spilled out, he finished the bag. He informed me he may not be able to go to the next boot camp session because he is so sore....big baby, and he goes to bed early.
So this morning, bright and early he asks, are you still sore? Yes honey I am. Then he says he thinks he cannot go tonight and has the nerve to ask me if I think he is being a puss? Why yes, you big strong manly athlete, I do think you are being a puss. So I just got an email from him asking if we are going at the same time and same place.....his ass is going!
BTW...I have lost 4 pounds so far since Saturday!
I will keep you posted on that and my adventures of fat camp!
So I have lost 12 pounds doing my health shakes and now nothing. I mean I have no idea why I am not losing any more. I mean I sit around all day and nothing so I decided it was time to get serious and join a exercise boot camp. I mean it is to a point that if I have to haul ass it would take me three trips....um yeah...it is time for a change.
I had some co-workers that I used to work with that did this boot camp<one of them actually warned me not to quit after the first day, WTF does that mean?> so last week I decided...hey I can try that! I just happen to check on it at the perfect time because the camp was starting this week! Sweet! Score!
So this past Saturday I had to go weigh in and get measured and meet my trainer. I was so excited to meet her. I was NOT excited to weigh in and get my measurements, oh well they can only get better from this point on...right?
Tuesday was my first day and my hubby decided to do it with me, for moral support he said. Whatever he needs to lose weight as much if not more than me so your fat ass needs to go too! He bitched and moaned about going. "oh this is going to be hokey, and this is just walking and toning, and I have to win and be in first" I told him it was not a competition and that I have heard it is really hard. He was like whatever.
So we arrive at our first location, we meet at different locations outside every week to keep it changing. The hubby is still going on about it and as soon as he meets the trainer he is like, I was an athlete and blah blah blah.
I had been hydrating all day long and I did some stretching exercises earlier that day just to be ready. When I asked my hubby if he had been hydrating he was like NO! And he hoped the trainer was not going to make us stretch because he did not need to stretch and he hated doing that. Okay big boy....whatever you say.
We started out walking, fast. I was able to keep up and I was in the middle of the pack. She stopped us and split us down into two groups, slow and fast. And yes I got thrown in the fast group...GREAT. Oh the hubby was in my group too, because remember...it is a race and he has to win.
We start walking again and go a "station", a station is just a place where we stop to do torture..I mean toning. We do some exercises called...oh hell I can't remember, all I know is WTF was I thinking doing this. We got down in a push up position and hopped our feet up and back and up and back. Then we did the same but on one foot at a time then we were to walk, run if we could, a mountain, okay fuckers, it was actually a mound. We did more of the same torture and then walked more.
<note to remember, I had been drinking tons of water, all day long>
We reach a major street and get along the side walk and use these rocks to do chair lifts with our arms and push ups...more torture. Then we had to so 2 sets of 30 jumping jacks. <oh BTW the hubby was right beside the trainer saying how he could do this and that so she made him to more along with her advanced people in our group...HA!>We stared doing the jumping jacks and I seriously thought I was going to pee my pants right there in front of Gawd and everyone driving by. Thank Gawd I saw a port-a-potty in the park that we pasted.
So she sends us back and as she does I ask her, are we going to do any more jumping because if we are I have to stop and pee. She said yes and sent me off to the bathroom. I guess while I was in there the group stopped for more torture, I missed that and we walked on to another torture station.
By this time I am about to pass out and I am drenched with sweat. Our next torture session is these squats and jump ups. Little piece of advise, G-string panties are NOT the way to go for tortureous fat camp. They were so far up my ass I believe I was tasting cotton. Good Lord, I may have to invest in some granny panties for fat camp....hate granny panties. So after this last station we were to speed walk back to the parking lot where we started.
WE WERE DONE and I HAD SURVIVED! My arms and legs were like wet noodles and I was so out of breath I thought I may kill over right there. The hubby looked even worse than I did. I thought his eyes were going to pop right out his head.
We loaded our broke down bodies into the car and headed to get some dinner. I was not hungry and could not even think about eating at this point but I knew I had to eat something. We decided to hit the local Subway because the last thing I could do was stand in the kitchen and prepare a meal. I got a salad and a water and the hubby got some sammie with bacon on it. WTF bacon? We just did a fucking workout! Whatever. And he got pop and chips. Diet pop and baked chips. So we sat and tried to talk to each other but we both were wore the fuck out. We get ready to leave and the hubby notices that on our receipt there is a coupon for a free cookie<his eyes lit up as he told me> I said NO you are not getting a cookie after what we have been though.
Later that night, the hubby decides he is hungry, again, and feels he needs to eat chips, not baked either. I give him what for but he still eats them. Good job honey.
THE DAY AFTER ARRIVES
And the hubby and I are both sore as hell. But that just means we worked hard right. I feel great and I am doing great with my eating habits! The hubby cried ALL DAY LONG. ALL DAY LONG! And ate bad for breakfast, fast food, and bad for lunch, fast food, so I fixed a healthy dinner. He has the nerve to say to me that I did not give him enough rice and how he did not have enough food. Dude you had an entire chicken salad sammie, half a packet of rice and a container of fruit, get over it!
As the evening goes by he is still crying about how sore he is and wants me to get him this and get him that, hey, get your ass up and work those sore muscles. And then he decides he wants another chicken salad sammie, um no, the leftovers are for tonight's dinner. Then he wants ice cream. I told him no but if he wants I can give him a list to get stuff for me to make him a smoothie. He said no he did not want to go to the store, but he was willing to GO to the ice cream store. So he resorts to eating the rest of the chips. I glare at him and he said, well they are all broken and are crumbs....so, that does not mean all the fat and calories spilled out, he finished the bag. He informed me he may not be able to go to the next boot camp session because he is so sore....big baby, and he goes to bed early.
So this morning, bright and early he asks, are you still sore? Yes honey I am. Then he says he thinks he cannot go tonight and has the nerve to ask me if I think he is being a puss? Why yes, you big strong manly athlete, I do think you are being a puss. So I just got an email from him asking if we are going at the same time and same place.....his ass is going!
BTW...I have lost 4 pounds so far since Saturday!
I will keep you posted on that and my adventures of fat camp!
Love, love, love! Keep up the great work! And I'm sending Brian to you when you whip Ronnie into shape! I think it's a 40+ male issue!
ReplyDeleteSee you soon and keep it up girl - Shelly