Kicked That Goal in the Ass

and not in the big fat ass, in the getting smaller<I think sexy> ass!

I had made a goal for myself that I would get to a size that I could wear those jeans that have sparkles on the pockets. Very expensive jeans too. I was at a size that they did not make the jeans big enough for me and I fucking wanted a damn pair. I mean all the cool kids are wearing them so why couldn't I...oh yeah...my ass was too big.

So I went about a month or so ago and tried on a pair and low and fucking behold.......THEY FIT!!! Oh I HAD TO HAVE a pair of these jeans.

It was almost payday and I could fit into them but the ones I tried on were too short. I cannot not do jeans that are too short. I think that comes from wearing Rockies and Wranglers with boots. The test is if I sit down and I can see the beginning of my boot going up or my socks, too short. I ain't wearing no high priced high waters. If I am going to pay this much they will fit me exactly how I want them to.

The town I live in does not have very many places that you can buy these jeans, I called every one of them and they had my waist size but not the length. So I phoned a friend, my soul sister. She wears these jeans so she has to know some other places<she is very fashion forward>. It happened that her and I were going to the big city on payday and she said I should call a store that we would be going by. I called them and they had like 5 pairs in my size and in the length I wanted! Oh hells yeah bitches!

Payday arrived and off we went. Got to the store and they had pulled every pair in my size and had them waiting on me. I was like a kid on Christmas morning! I held my head up high and sexy walked into the fitting room<oh yea I am "fitting" into these jeans!>

I tried on every pair. I shook my ass at myself in the mirror in each pair. Then I narrowed it down to two and asked my soul sister what she thought. She agreed with me on the pair and I sexy walked up to the checkout. I had a huge smile on my face and could not keep it in any more. I told the gal, these are my first pair of these jeans because I have lost enough weight to finally wear them. She was all excited for me and told me how to care for them so the jewels do not come off in the wash. I walked out of there thinking I was the shit!

I am not gonna lie, it did hurt to pay that much for a pair of jeans. I have never paid that much before but it was my first big goal that I had met so I deserved it!

The first chance I had to wear them was too a local college football game. Oh I was shaking my ass all over the place. I had decided to name these jeans my Fancy Pants! And do you all know what? I won a best butt contest! Okay, there was only 2 of us in it and it was kinda not really a contest but I was told I had the best butt between the two. Hell I forgot I even had an ass let alone an ass that looked good!

So now I wear those jeans anytime we are going some where, like out on the weekends, not to work or the store or simple places like that. And all I really can afford this one pair....for now. I mean what the fuck an I gonna do when I lose MORE weight and these are too big? Oh the possibilities are endless<too bad my pocket book is not>.

So there you have it, big girl makes good on a goal and buys first pair of Fancy Pants!

Already have my next goal in mind. I have a long way to go for that one though but I WILL get there!

Till next time folks........peace out!

Just my luck....

always my damn luck when it comes to fashion trends.

So I was watching E News the other day and they said that the look for fall and winter this year is layers.....fucking layers! AND they said the more layers the better. FUCK! Of course THIS year is layers. I really could have fucking used layer after layer after layer last year but noooooooo not this year since I have lost 20 damn pounds!

I want to show off my body and not hide it under layers. Well this is just the shits for me. I mean last year I wanted to wear blankets and quilts as layers so no one could see my body. I am so pissed right now!

So I am NOT going to be fashion forward this fall/winter season, I am going to show my shit off every chance I get. It is not like I actually was ever fashion forward anyway.

Oh well girls....shit happens and this season shit is happening in fucking layers.

Peace out!

I am taking that shit back bitches!!!

So since I have lost some poundage and I have been working out I have fallen in love with my workout clothes. I think they make me look sexy<yes I said sexy, don't knock it til you try it bitches>.

I am not going to say how much money I have spent in the last 3 months on workout clothes<why because I really don't want to have to go back and add it all up and make myself sick when I realize how much I really fucking spent>.

Anyway I love them. And as it is getting colder....fucking hate winter...I decided I need one more pair of long pants and a long sleeved shirt. I ran into my favorite place, right now, for workout clothes, JCP, and grabbed a pair of pants in XL and a long sleeved shirt in XL, no need to try them on, I am an extra lard, yes I fucking said lard!

Went to the check out and I was on my way. Got home and tried them on. Holy mother of gawd they were to fucking big! Oh yeah I said TOO FUCKING BIG! Now after the small celebration in my room<there was dancing and singing...okay damn you, there was dirty dancing>I was like oh hells yeah too big! Too big for MY BODY!

So bitches, after boot camp tonight I am going to march right into the store, sling the bag on the counter and yell....THESE ARE TOO BIG! I NEED A SMALLER SIZE!!!!

Oh happy day for me and my sexy body in workout clothes!

Peace out homes!

A Picture is Worth......................................

not a fucking thing if it was of me..............of course that is what I used to think.

When I started this blog I hated every single picture that was taken of me. People would take pictures of me and post them online and tag me in them. I HATED THAT and would untag myself and then go off on the person that did it. I did NOT want anyone to see my fat self online. I mean come on, please show me some mercy and let me approve the pictures first and if I want to tag myself in them I will do it.

I hated the way I looked, I was so down about my body image. I was all...damn look at that fat ass or what the fuck was I thinking when I put on that outfit. I actually lost sleep over these damn pictures of myself. Why is my body image of myself so fucked up?

BUT..............since I am down 20 pounds and feeling all good about my self I am finding that I am posting pictures of myself and I am not caring that other people post pictures of me. It has to be the best fucking feeling in the world to see a picture of yourself and think...what the hell...I look great! And when people post things like, wow you look great or you have lost a lot of weight! Makes me feel like a million dollars I tell you!

So people please, respect others when posting pictures online and ask for permission to do it. Also fucking tell people that have and are losing weight that you notice. It will make that person feel FABULOUS!

An update, I am still doing fat, I mean, boot camp. One more week left after this week in the fall camp and I am going to sign up for the winter camp. I have come to terms that I will forever have to exercise and eat right or I will be right back Large And Not So In Charge again. Oh and I am signing up for my first 5K! That has been a goal for me for a couple of years now. No I ain't fucking running the 5K, are you fucking crazy! It is a 5K Walk/Run. There is no way my ass can run a 5K....yet....key word is YET!

Till next time bitches.........peace out!

Lost and Found!

Somewhere along the way of my becoming Large and not so In Charge I lost myself. I really did. I did not know who I was or how to be myself. It is sad how this happens but I don't think I am the only one this has ever happened to.

I reconnected with a girlfriend that I had not seen in of maybe 6 or 7 years. I wanted to see her and hang out with her. She is beautiful and talented and an artist and a musician and a wonderful person but she had lost herself too.

One day she commented on how awesome she thought I was because of some work I did on my boat engine. Made me fee like I was a fucking rocket scientists! I later emailed her and told her how much that meant to me to hear that. I told her I got chubby and I don't get a lot of people saying things like that to me any more. And it was true. I got used to being a wall flower, which if any of you know me, I am not a fucking wall flower!

She responded to me in a way that totally changed my way of thinking. She said: I have been avoiding getting together with everyone because of my own insecurities around my current chubby state.  Wait. What? So all of this time the things I was feeling and going through was NORMAL and I am okay? Oh fuck could I help her feel good about herself again? I hope I can!

A couple of weeks ago a few of us girls got together for a dinner and drinks. She was invited and I prayed that she would be there. And fucking A she showed up. She walked though that door and there she was, my girl, the same silly girl I remember. I hugged her so very tight and I did not want to let go. I did not want to share her with anyone. Her and I were so close, we told each other secrets, she took pictures, beautiful pictures of me, we were CLOSE!

I could see in her eyes how nervous she was, I knew that look, I have had that look and now that look for me is gone. I found myself and I want her to find herself. We talked till way into the morning and I told her about my blog and how I loved her and how she needs to be all about her, because no matter what the hell you look like, you are STILL YOU!!! I hope she reads this and understands what a fucking awesome person she is. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE and I LOVE you!

WTF? Sorry I have not posted in a while, summer gets the best of me

So as I can see I have not posted since May. What the fuck? I am sorry, no I am not sorry. I have been having fun in the sun and loving myself!

I am now down 18 pounds bitches and it feels fucking awesome! I started up fat camp again last week and that is going great too! My first fat camp I lost a total of 5.5 inches and 3 of those were off my waist! Sooooo....I am back at it and ready to start talking shit again!

Can You See Me Now? Good Lord Yes, We CAN See You!

Okay people I know that the neon colors are coming back in style but come on.....neon on a big girl?

I was shopping at one of my favorite stores that has my favorite big girl section in it the other day and noticed that most of the color choices are neon. Really people?

Neon was popular in the 80's. I was a child of the 80's so I know this. I loved my neon because that was what everyone else was wearing. Loved my neon bracelets and neon splatter paint shirts and everything neon. But now........

Neon became the color that said hey can you see me and is worn by construction workers and usually has some sort of reflective tape on it so you can SEE them and not run over them.

Is this really how we as big girls want to be seen. Really, here I am in all my bigness and I am wearing neon so you can see me better. NO! Big girls should NOT wear neon! These colors are reserved for skinny bitches so you can see them in the buffet line and not run them over to get to the fried chicken before it is all gone.

Now a little bit of neon is okay. Like accent neon. A hint of neon is good. But NEVER EVER a full on neon shirt or shorts or jacket. NEVER I TELL YOU!
Let's leave the neon to the skinny bitches and construction workers so we can see then and not run them over<yeah, okay, I have SEEN skinny bitches while driving and I have wanted to run them over, I am sure you have too, don't you judge me!>

Now which black shirt should I wear today?